Thursday, February 24, 2011

To Touch Your Heart

When I got home that night, as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, "I've got something to tell you."

She sat down and ate quietly. I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking.

"I want a divorce."

I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Why?"

I avoided her question. This made her angry.

She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "You are not a man!"

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage but I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer.

She had lost my heart to Jane.

I didn't love my wife anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement, which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger.

I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said, for I loved Jane so dearly.

Finally my wife cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of a divorce, which had obsessed me for several weeks, seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to bed and fell asleep very fast because I was tired, after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and went to sleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions. She didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested for the one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible.

Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me but she had something more. She asked me to recall how I had carried her into our bridal room, on our wedding day.

She requested that every morning, for the month's duration, I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door.

I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable, I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's odd divorce condition. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.

"No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce," she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy.

Our son clapped behind us, "Daddy is holding Mommy in his arms."

His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms.

She closed her eyes and said softly, "Don't tell our son about the divorce."

I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more; there were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her.

For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the third day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fourth and fifth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this.

It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

My wife was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one.

Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown bigger."

I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin. That was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, "Dad, it's time to carry Mom out."

To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute.

I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day but her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms, I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school.

I held her tightly and said, "I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy."

I drove to office and then jumped out of the car swiftly, without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind.

I walked upstairs.

Jane opened the door and I said to her, "Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore."

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.

"Do you have a fever?" she said.

I moved her hand off my head.

"Sorry, Jane," I said. "I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day, I am supposed to hold her until death do us part."

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop, on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card.

I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until death do us part."

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands and a smile on my face. I ran upstairs only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was too busy with Jane to even notice.

My wife knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from whatever negative reaction that might come from our son, in case we pushed through with the divorce. At least, in the eyes of our son, I was a loving husband.

Morale of the story: The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, or the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Please consider sharing this story. If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage.

Remember: Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. And for those of us not married, we can learn the art of sticking together with our relationship partner, despite the odds. You are both stronger than the odds, only when you agree to stick together.

-Author Unknown-

*Thanks to Cleo who sent this beautiful post to me. Take care and have a beautiful day!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011


Outside my window, a new day I see,
And only I can determine
What kind of day it will be.
It can be busy and sunny, laughing and gay,
Or boring and cold, unhappy and gray.

My own state of mind is the determining key,
For I am only the person I let myself be.

I can be thoughtful and do all I can to help,
Or be selfish and think just of myself.
I can enjoy what I do and make it seem fun,
Or gripe and complain and make it hard on someone.

I can be patient with those who may not understand
Or belittle and hurt them as much as I can.

But I have faith in myself,
And believe what I say
And I personally intend to make the most of each day.

-Author Unknown-

Saturday, February 19, 2011

High and Above

“May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view.

May your mountains rise into and above the clouds.

May your rivers flow without end, meandering through pastoral valleys tinkling with bells, past temples and castles and poets' towers into a dark primeval forest where tigers belch and monkeys howl, through miasmal and mysterious swamps and down into a desert of red rock, blue mesas, domes and pinnacles and grottos of endless stone,

and down again into a deep vast ancient unknown chasm where bars of sunlight blaze on profiled cliffs, where deer walk across the white sand beaches, where storms come and go as lightning clangs upon the high crags, where something strange and more beautiful and more full of wonder than your deepest dreams waits for you - beyond that next turning of the canyon walls.”

- Edward Abbey, "Benedicto"

* I came across the above quotation at one of my favorite blogs HERE.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Always Encourage

Dante Gabriel Rossetti, the famous 19th-century poet and artist, was once approached by an elderly man. The old fellow had some sketches and drawings that he wanted Rossetti to look at and tell him if they were any good, or if they at least showed potential talent.

Rossetti looked them over carefully. After the first few, he knew that they were worthless, showing not the least sign of artistic talent. But Rossetti was a kind man, and he told the elderly man as gently as possible that the pictures were without much value and showed little talent. He was sorry, but he could not lie to the man. The visitor was disappointed, but seemed to expect Rossetti's judgment.

He then apologized for taking up Rossetti's time, but would he just look at a few more drawings - these done by a young art student? Rossetti looked over the second batch of sketches and immediately became enthusiastic over the talent they revealed. "These," he said, "oh, these are good. This young student has great talent. He should be given every help and encouragement in his career as an artist. He has a great future if he will work hard and stick to it."

Rossetti could see that the old fellow was deeply moved. "Who is this fine young artist?" he asked. "Your son?" "No," said the old man sadly. "It is me - 40 years ago. If only I had heard your praise then! For you see, I got discouraged and gave up - too soon."

- Author Unknown

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A Life of Regret or New Beginnings

I had not really planned on taking a trip this time of year, and yet I found myself packing rather hurriedly. This trip was going to be unpleasant and I knew in advance that no real good would come of it. This is my annual "Guilt Trip."

I got tickets to fly there on "WISH-I-HAD" airlines. It was an extremely short flight. I got my "baggage," which I could not check. I chose to carry it myself all the way. It was loaded down with a thousand memories of "what might have been." No one greeted me as I entered the terminal to the Regret City International Airport. I say international because people from all over the world come to this dismal town.

As I checked into the "Last Resort" Hotel, I noticed that they would be hosting the year's most important event -- the annual "Pity Party." I wasn't going to miss that great social occasion. Many of the towns leading citizens would be there.

First, there would be the "Done" family; you know, "Should Have," "Would Have" and "Could Have." Then came the "I Had" family. You probably know old "Wish" and his clan. Of course, the "Opportunities" family; "Missed and Lost," would be present. The biggest family there would be the "Yesterday's."

There are far too many of them to count, but each one would have a very sad story to share. Of course, "Shattered Dreams" would surely make and appearance. "It's Their Fault" family would regale us with stories (excuses) about how things had failed in their life. Each story would be loudly applauded by the "Don't Blame Me" and "I Couldn't Help It" committee.

To make a long story short, I went to this depressing party, knowing full well there would be no real benefit in doing so. And, as usual, I became very depressed. But as I thought about all of the stories of failures brought back from the past, it occurred to me that this trip and subsequent "pity parties" COULD be cancelled by ME!

I started to realize that I did not have to be there. And I didn't have to be depressed. One thing kept going through my mind, I CAN'T CHANGE YESTERDAY, BUT I DO HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE TODAY A WONDERFUL DAY. I can be happy, joyous, fulfilled, encouraged, as well as being encouraging.

Knowing this, I left Regret City immediately, and didn't leave a forwarding address. Am I sorry for mistakes I've made in the past? YES! But there is no way to undo them.

So, if you're planning a trip back to Regret City, please cancel all those reservations now. Instead, take a trip to a nice place called: "Starting Again." I like it so much that I made it my permanent residence. My neighbors, the "Been Forgiven" and the "We're Saved" are so very helpful. By the way, you don't have to carry around the heavy baggage anymore either. That load is lifted from your shoulders upon arrival. But don't take my word for it, find out for yourself.

- Author Unknown

Saturday, February 5, 2011

You are the Best!

1. When the snake is alive, it eats ants. When the snake is injured or dead, ants eat snake.

Time changes, therefore situations can turn upside down at any time.
Don't neglect anyone in your life............

2. Never make the same mistake twice.

There are so many new ones.
Try something a little different each day.
Hopefully, not all your endeavors turn out to be too many mistakes.

3. A good way to change someone's attitude is to change your own, because, the same sun that melts butter, also hardens clay!

4. Life is just like a sea, we are moving without an end.

Nothing stays with us.
What remains is just the memories of some people who touched us as waves.

5. Whenever you want to know how rich you are never count your currency.

Just try to Drop a Tear and count how many hands reach out to WIPE that--


6. Heart said to the eyes, "See less, because you see and I suffer a lot."

Eyes replied, "Feel less because you feel and I cry a lot."

7. Never change your originality for the sake of others, because no one can play your role better than you.

So be yourself, because whatever you are,


*Sourced from Bobby's Log.

Friday, February 4, 2011

A Mother's Love that Knows No Boundaries

A single mom has seven kids, and when her oldest one, a girl, went to school, she found out that the teacher told her she wasn't allowed to pray over her lunch. So, this single mom who didn't even have a high school diploma pulled her daughter out of school to homeschool her, and this was back before homeschooling was as popular as it is now. It wasn't official back then either. They were subject to harassment from the school. The school bus would sit outside and lay on the horn every morning. The bus driver would yell "truant" and sometimes even get out and come beat on the door. The school would call all the time, and they stopped answering the phone.

One day, she finally got what she had feared for a long time, an official letter saying she had to go to court for her daughter's trauncy. She was dazed as she read the letter. She couldn't believe what she was reading, and she let the letter fall out of her hand in despair. Her daughter came up and asked her if it was bad news. She said yes, and the daughter asked if she could read the letter. Since it was about her, the mom let her read the letter, and without the mom noticing right away, the 6-year-old girl had pulled out a red pen and begun to circle several grammatical and spelling errors in the letter. Her mom scolded her, saying she wasn't supposed to do that to other people's papers. She had done that to her daughter's papers as she taught her at home...

So, she went to court, and she took the letter with her to make sure she went to the right place and all. When she was before the judge, he asked her if she knew what she was there for. She handed him the letter; she had forgotten about the markings. She figured he would ask her a bunch of questions about her own education and conclude she was unfit to homeschool her daughter and order her to go to school. But the judge looked at the letter, and he asked, "Who put these markings on here?" She told him her daughter had and was apologizing...

The judge took off his glasses and looked back at the letter. He told her, "Well, the reason you're here today is that it is suspected that your daughter is not being properly educated. However, it appears that she is being educated, and from what I see here, it is clearly not coming from the public schools. This case is dismissed."

She hadn't realized it, but she had taught her 1st grade daughter to a 7th grade reading level.

-Author Unknown-

*The above story was sent to me by a friend via email. I do not know who is the writer and cannot verify the authenticity of the story. I posted it because I am very sure there are other mothers out there who want the best for their children and who would walk the extra mile like the mother in this story. Take care and God bless you!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Just to say

Most of you would be on your way to your reunion dinner. I have yet to shower and change but will do so right after I put up this post. Do take care. Have a glorious time with your family and loved ones. Drive safely and have a wonderful celebration with your loved ones.

Gong Xi Fa Cai!