I had a very special teacher in high school many years ago whose husband died suddenly of a heart attack. About a week after his death, she shared some of her insights with a classroom of students. The class was nearly over, and as the late afternoon sunlight came streaming in through the classroom windows, she moved a few things aside on the edge of her desk and sat down there. With a gentle look of reflection on her face, she paused and said, "Before class is over, I would like to share with all of you a thought that is unrelated to class, but which I feel is very important."
"Each of us is put here on earth to learn, share, love, appreciate and give of ourselves. None of us knows when this fantastic experience will end. It can be taken away at any moment. Perhaps this is God's way of telling us that we must make the most out of every single day." Her eyes beginning to water, she went on, "So I would like you all to make me a promise. From now on, on your way to school, or on your way home, find something beautiful to notice. It doesn't have to be something you see - it could be a scent - perhaps of freshly baked bread wafting out of someone's house, or it could be the sound of the breeze slightly rustling the leaves in the trees, or the way the morning light catches one autumn leaf as it falls gently to the ground."
"Please look for these things, and cherish them. For, although it may sound trite to some, these things are the 'stuff' of life. The little things we are put here on earth to enjoy. The things we often take for granted. We must make it important to notice them, for at any time...it can all be taken away."
The class was completely quiet. We all picked up our books and filed out of the room silently. That afternoon, I noticed more things on my way home from school than I had that whole semester. Every once in a while, I think of that teacher and remember what an impression she made on all of us, and I try to appreciate all of those things that sometimes we all overlook.
Take notice of something special you see on your lunch hour today. Go barefoot. Or walk on the beach at sunset. Stop off on the way home tonight to get a double-dip ice cream cone. For as we get older, it is not the things we did that we often regret, but the things we didn't do.
Source Unknown
Showing posts with label Motivational. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Motivational. Show all posts
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
A PLACE FOR YOU
If you have ever gone through a toll booth, you know that your relationship to the person in the booth is not the most intimate you'll ever have. It is one of life's frequent non-encounters: You hand over some money; you might get change; you drive off. I have been through every one of the 17 toll booths on the Oakland-San Francisco Bay Bridge on thousands of occasions, and never had an exchange worth remembering with anybody.
Late one morning in 1984, headed for lunch in San Francisco, I drove toward one of the booths. I heard loud music. It sounded like a party, or a Michael Jackson concert. I looked around. No other cars with their windows open. No sound trucks. I looked at the toll booth. Inside it, the man was dancing.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"I'm having a party," he said.
"What about the rest of these people?" I looked over at other booths; nothing moving there.
"They're not invited."
I had a dozen other questions for him, but somebody in a big hurry to get somewhere started punching his horn behind me and I drove off. But I made a note to myself: Find this guy again. There's something in his eye that says there's magic in his toll booth.
Months later I did find him again, still with the loud music, still having a party.
Again I asked, "What are you doing?"
He said, "I remember you from the last time. I'm still dancing. I'm having the same party."
I said, "Look. What about the rest of the people."
He said. "Stop. What do those look like to you?" He pointed down the row of toll booths.
"They look like toll booths."
"Noooo imagination!"
I said, "Okay, I give up. What do they look like to you?"
He said, "Vertical coffins."
"What are you talking about?"
"I can prove it. At 8:30 every morning, live people get in. Then they die for eight hours. At 4:30, like Lazarus from the dead, they reemerge and go home. For eight hours, brain is on hold, dead on the job. Going through the motions."
I was amazed. This guy had developed a philosophy, a mythology about his job. I could not help asking the next question: "Why is it different for you? You're having a good time."
He looked at me. "I knew you were going to ask that," he said. "I'm going to be a dancer someday." He pointed to the administration building. "My bosses are in there, and they're paying for my training."
Sixteen people dead on the job, and the seventeenth, in precisely the same situation, figures out a way to live. That man was having a party where you and I would probably not last three days. The boredom! He and I did have lunch later, and he said, "I don't understand why anybody would think my job is boring. I have a corner office, glass on all sides. I can see the Golden Gate, San Francisco, the Berkeley hills; half the Western world vacations here and I just stroll in every day and practice dancing.
Abraham Lincoln said, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." I would tend to agree.
Written by Dr. Charles Garfield
Late one morning in 1984, headed for lunch in San Francisco, I drove toward one of the booths. I heard loud music. It sounded like a party, or a Michael Jackson concert. I looked around. No other cars with their windows open. No sound trucks. I looked at the toll booth. Inside it, the man was dancing.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"I'm having a party," he said.
"What about the rest of these people?" I looked over at other booths; nothing moving there.
"They're not invited."
I had a dozen other questions for him, but somebody in a big hurry to get somewhere started punching his horn behind me and I drove off. But I made a note to myself: Find this guy again. There's something in his eye that says there's magic in his toll booth.
Months later I did find him again, still with the loud music, still having a party.
Again I asked, "What are you doing?"
He said, "I remember you from the last time. I'm still dancing. I'm having the same party."
I said, "Look. What about the rest of the people."
He said. "Stop. What do those look like to you?" He pointed down the row of toll booths.
"They look like toll booths."
"Noooo imagination!"
I said, "Okay, I give up. What do they look like to you?"
He said, "Vertical coffins."
"What are you talking about?"
"I can prove it. At 8:30 every morning, live people get in. Then they die for eight hours. At 4:30, like Lazarus from the dead, they reemerge and go home. For eight hours, brain is on hold, dead on the job. Going through the motions."
I was amazed. This guy had developed a philosophy, a mythology about his job. I could not help asking the next question: "Why is it different for you? You're having a good time."
He looked at me. "I knew you were going to ask that," he said. "I'm going to be a dancer someday." He pointed to the administration building. "My bosses are in there, and they're paying for my training."
Sixteen people dead on the job, and the seventeenth, in precisely the same situation, figures out a way to live. That man was having a party where you and I would probably not last three days. The boredom! He and I did have lunch later, and he said, "I don't understand why anybody would think my job is boring. I have a corner office, glass on all sides. I can see the Golden Gate, San Francisco, the Berkeley hills; half the Western world vacations here and I just stroll in every day and practice dancing.
Abraham Lincoln said, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." I would tend to agree.
Written by Dr. Charles Garfield
Friday, September 18, 2009
RED MARBLES
I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas.
I paid for my potatoes, but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.
Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me..
'Hello, Barry, how are you today?'
'Hello, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank you. Just admiring them peas. They sure look good.'
'They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?'
'Fine. Getting stronger all the time.'
'Good. Anything I can help you with?'
'No, Sir. Just admiring the peas..'
'Would you like to take some home?' asked Mr. Miller.
'No, sir. Got nothing to pay for 'em with.'
Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?'
'All I have is my prize marble here.'
'Is that right? Let me see it,' said Miller.
'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.'
'I can see that. Hmm mmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked.
'Not 'zackley, but almost.'
'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble,' Mr. Miller told the boy.
'Sure will. Thanks, Mr. Miller.'
Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.
With a smile, she said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store.'
I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado , but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys and their bartering for marbles.
Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community, and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his visitation that evening, and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary, we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.
Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts.. All were very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket.
Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.
Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.
'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size, they came to pay their debt. We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,' she confided, 'but right now Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho.'
With loving gentleness, she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.
The Moral: We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.
Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles ~ A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself; An unexpected phone call from an old friend; Green stoplights on your way to work; The fastest line at the grocery store; A good sing-along song on the radio; Your keys found right where you left them.
If you don't send it to anyone, it means you are in way too much of a hurry to even notice the ordinary miracles when they occur. Send this to the people you'll never forget. I just did.
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU GATHER, BUT WHAT YOU SCATTER THAT TELLS WHAT KIND OF LIFE YOU HAVE LIVED!
I paid for my potatoes, but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.
Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me..
'Hello, Barry, how are you today?'
'Hello, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank you. Just admiring them peas. They sure look good.'
'They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?'
'Fine. Getting stronger all the time.'
'Good. Anything I can help you with?'
'No, Sir. Just admiring the peas..'
'Would you like to take some home?' asked Mr. Miller.
'No, sir. Got nothing to pay for 'em with.'
Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?'
'All I have is my prize marble here.'
'Is that right? Let me see it,' said Miller.
'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.'
'I can see that. Hmm mmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked.
'Not 'zackley, but almost.'
'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble,' Mr. Miller told the boy.
'Sure will. Thanks, Mr. Miller.'
Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.
With a smile, she said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store.'
I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado , but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys and their bartering for marbles.
Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community, and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his visitation that evening, and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary, we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.
Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts.. All were very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket.
Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.
Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.
'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size, they came to pay their debt. We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,' she confided, 'but right now Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho.'
With loving gentleness, she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.
The Moral: We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.
Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles ~ A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself; An unexpected phone call from an old friend; Green stoplights on your way to work; The fastest line at the grocery store; A good sing-along song on the radio; Your keys found right where you left them.
If you don't send it to anyone, it means you are in way too much of a hurry to even notice the ordinary miracles when they occur. Send this to the people you'll never forget. I just did.
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU GATHER, BUT WHAT YOU SCATTER THAT TELLS WHAT KIND OF LIFE YOU HAVE LIVED!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
I TRIED...
I TRIED TO CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN TODAY.
I tried to climb the mountain today. As I inched my way up the path, I felt overwhelmed, so I had to turn back.
I tried to climb the mountain today. On my journey, darkness started to fall, and I was full of fear, so I had to return to a safe place.
I was ready to climb the mountain today. But it was so hot outside, I thought I better stay in my nice air-conditioned house and rest up for tomorrow's attempt.
I was about to climb the mountain today. But I had so many other things to do, so instead of climbing the mountain I took care of much more important tasks. I washed my car, mowed the grass and watched the big game. Today the mountain will just have to wait.
I was going to climb the mountain today. But as I stared at the mountain in it's majestic beauty, I knew I stood no chance of making it to the top, so I figured why even bother trying.
I have forgotten about climbing the mountain today; until a friend came by and asked me what I was up to lately. I told him I was thinking about climbing that mountain some day. I went on and on about how I was going to accomplish this task.
Finally, he said, "I just got back from climbing the mountain. For the longest time I told myself I was trying to climb the mountain but never made any progress. I almost let the dream of making it to the top die. I came up with every excuse of why I could not make it up the mountain, but never once did I give myself a reason why I could. One day as I stared at the mountain and pondered, I realized that if I didn't make an attempt at this dream all my dreams will eventually die."
"The next morning, I started my climb." He continued, "It was not easy, and at times I wanted to quit. But no matter what I faced, I placed one foot in front of the other, keeping a steady pace. When the wind tried to blow me over the edge, I kept walking. When the voices inside my head screamed "stop!" I focused on my goal never letting it out of sight, and I kept moving forward. At times, I was ready to quit, but I knew I had come too far. Time and time again, I reassured myself that I was going to finish this journey. I struggled to make it to the top, but I climbed the mountain!"
"I have to be going," my friend said. "Tomorrow is a new day to accomplish more dreams. By the way, what are you going to do tomorrow?"
I looked at him, with intensity and confidence in my eyes, and said, "I have a mountain to climb."
- Gary Barnes
I tried to climb the mountain today. As I inched my way up the path, I felt overwhelmed, so I had to turn back.
I tried to climb the mountain today. On my journey, darkness started to fall, and I was full of fear, so I had to return to a safe place.
I was ready to climb the mountain today. But it was so hot outside, I thought I better stay in my nice air-conditioned house and rest up for tomorrow's attempt.
I was about to climb the mountain today. But I had so many other things to do, so instead of climbing the mountain I took care of much more important tasks. I washed my car, mowed the grass and watched the big game. Today the mountain will just have to wait.
I was going to climb the mountain today. But as I stared at the mountain in it's majestic beauty, I knew I stood no chance of making it to the top, so I figured why even bother trying.
I have forgotten about climbing the mountain today; until a friend came by and asked me what I was up to lately. I told him I was thinking about climbing that mountain some day. I went on and on about how I was going to accomplish this task.
Finally, he said, "I just got back from climbing the mountain. For the longest time I told myself I was trying to climb the mountain but never made any progress. I almost let the dream of making it to the top die. I came up with every excuse of why I could not make it up the mountain, but never once did I give myself a reason why I could. One day as I stared at the mountain and pondered, I realized that if I didn't make an attempt at this dream all my dreams will eventually die."
"The next morning, I started my climb." He continued, "It was not easy, and at times I wanted to quit. But no matter what I faced, I placed one foot in front of the other, keeping a steady pace. When the wind tried to blow me over the edge, I kept walking. When the voices inside my head screamed "stop!" I focused on my goal never letting it out of sight, and I kept moving forward. At times, I was ready to quit, but I knew I had come too far. Time and time again, I reassured myself that I was going to finish this journey. I struggled to make it to the top, but I climbed the mountain!"
"I have to be going," my friend said. "Tomorrow is a new day to accomplish more dreams. By the way, what are you going to do tomorrow?"
I looked at him, with intensity and confidence in my eyes, and said, "I have a mountain to climb."
- Gary Barnes
Friday, April 10, 2009
HAPPINESS IS A CHOICE
The basis of your life is choice; the purpose of your life is happiness.
You can choose to discover what makes you happy or you can choose a to go down a path of misery. If you should choose to discover happiness, your happiness will allow you to find peace and you will spread joy around you. If you should choose a life of confusion and misery, you will grow, but the growth will be in despair and you will spread this despair to those around you.
Happiness is a choice. You can chose to be happy or you can chose to be angry. The choice is always yours. It is as easy to be happy, as it is easy to be angry. All you have to do is make the choice as to the path you will take.
Imagine happiness and it will be yours. Ask yourself what makes you happy and then think why you want it. When you do this the essence of your desire will be activated. You will start to uncover inner feelings about yourself. Listen to your inner voice. You will start to understand your desires and you will be able to act on them. Remember never to assume anything. You do not know what others think and 9 out of 10 you will be wrong. Being judgement only leads you to judge yourself. All of those imperfections that you see in others are only reflections of what you fear yourself to be. This only leads to anger and resentment
Anger, resentment, despair, all of these things need to be let go. These feelings will do you no good and only bring you misery. Try to look at everything in life in a positive way. Believe it or not, there is always something positive in anything we deem negative.
Give yourself a chance to be happy. Love yourself, be kind to yourself, and remember everyone deserves to be happy.
-author unknown-
You can choose to discover what makes you happy or you can choose a to go down a path of misery. If you should choose to discover happiness, your happiness will allow you to find peace and you will spread joy around you. If you should choose a life of confusion and misery, you will grow, but the growth will be in despair and you will spread this despair to those around you.
Happiness is a choice. You can chose to be happy or you can chose to be angry. The choice is always yours. It is as easy to be happy, as it is easy to be angry. All you have to do is make the choice as to the path you will take.
Imagine happiness and it will be yours. Ask yourself what makes you happy and then think why you want it. When you do this the essence of your desire will be activated. You will start to uncover inner feelings about yourself. Listen to your inner voice. You will start to understand your desires and you will be able to act on them. Remember never to assume anything. You do not know what others think and 9 out of 10 you will be wrong. Being judgement only leads you to judge yourself. All of those imperfections that you see in others are only reflections of what you fear yourself to be. This only leads to anger and resentment
Anger, resentment, despair, all of these things need to be let go. These feelings will do you no good and only bring you misery. Try to look at everything in life in a positive way. Believe it or not, there is always something positive in anything we deem negative.
Give yourself a chance to be happy. Love yourself, be kind to yourself, and remember everyone deserves to be happy.
-author unknown-
Thursday, April 9, 2009
HOME REMEDIES FOR THE SOUL
When I was young my mother would look for remedies to cure my hurts and sickness. Some of these remedies worked while others did not. Among all of the home remedies she tried, the ones that seemed to work best were the ones that made me feel loved, important and wanted. There was just something about feeling loved and knowing I was important that made all of my problems seem to go away. The best home remedy for the soul I have ever encountered is knowing how much my life mattered, knowing that I was important and someone cared.
Unfortunately as I grew older I felt my life did not matter. The pressures of life left me feeling that I was no good, not important, and not needed. Self-doubt filled me; thoughts of not being good enough consumed me. I longed for someone to prove to me that I was worth living. My soul ached for the remedies I knew as a child, and I thought I would never see them again.
Fortunately the human spirit has a resolve that can be found in the darkest despair. If you look hard enough within, you will meet the person who will show you the reason you are here. It will not come from a place you expect, but rather a quiet inner voice of someone familiar. If you listen, you will discover that it is not someone else who will remedy your soul, just you.
Once I discovered that feeling needed and wanted had to come from within first, I was able to move on with my life. I met someone who could understand me and made me feel wanted. I married and had children of my own. Looking inside myself I discovered that what I was looking for was already inside me. I did not have to look to others to find love or feelings of being needed. They were there inside of me all along. As I spend time trying to find remedies that would cure my own children's sickness. I find again that love and making them feel wanted seems to be the best medicine for any hurt.
Of all the things I have experience in life; I have learned that life is much easier when you know you matter, but first you have to matter to yourself. To find remedies for the soul you could try going to others, buy it in a bottle, but relying on other devices to make you feel good will not lead you to find true happiness. First you must look deep into yourself. There you will discover the best home remedy for the soul there is, you. Love yourself, take care of yourself, be persistent, and remember you are special there is no one else quite like you.
Taken from this link.
Unfortunately as I grew older I felt my life did not matter. The pressures of life left me feeling that I was no good, not important, and not needed. Self-doubt filled me; thoughts of not being good enough consumed me. I longed for someone to prove to me that I was worth living. My soul ached for the remedies I knew as a child, and I thought I would never see them again.
Fortunately the human spirit has a resolve that can be found in the darkest despair. If you look hard enough within, you will meet the person who will show you the reason you are here. It will not come from a place you expect, but rather a quiet inner voice of someone familiar. If you listen, you will discover that it is not someone else who will remedy your soul, just you.
Once I discovered that feeling needed and wanted had to come from within first, I was able to move on with my life. I met someone who could understand me and made me feel wanted. I married and had children of my own. Looking inside myself I discovered that what I was looking for was already inside me. I did not have to look to others to find love or feelings of being needed. They were there inside of me all along. As I spend time trying to find remedies that would cure my own children's sickness. I find again that love and making them feel wanted seems to be the best medicine for any hurt.
Of all the things I have experience in life; I have learned that life is much easier when you know you matter, but first you have to matter to yourself. To find remedies for the soul you could try going to others, buy it in a bottle, but relying on other devices to make you feel good will not lead you to find true happiness. First you must look deep into yourself. There you will discover the best home remedy for the soul there is, you. Love yourself, take care of yourself, be persistent, and remember you are special there is no one else quite like you.
Taken from this link.
Monday, April 6, 2009
POSITIVE THINKING
Do you ever just stop for a moment and clear your mind? Try it. Think of nothing, let everything go. Let go of your anxieties. Let go of your troubles, even if it is just for a moment.
Now look around you. You will see that the world exists without your troubles. Every blade of grass, each cloud in the sky, each person that passes you by, they do not share your troubles. So let your troubles go, even if it is only for a moment. Your soul will appreciate the break.
Remember life keeps going, even when you think you can't. Do not be so hard on yourself or others, everyone tries the best they can. So stop to take in the beauty around you. There is beauty in everything if you know how to look for it.
Look at the beauty in the world. The world is filled with all kinds of possibilities. Every moment you clear your mind a dream is being born. Every dream is a window to opportunity. Do not let your anxieties and troubles tear the beauty of the world apart. You have the power to create. Try it, follow your heart.
Remember these things:
There is still love in the world.
There is still goodness and joy.
Know you are wanted and needed.
And most importantly of all, enjoy being alive.
-author unknown-
Now look around you. You will see that the world exists without your troubles. Every blade of grass, each cloud in the sky, each person that passes you by, they do not share your troubles. So let your troubles go, even if it is only for a moment. Your soul will appreciate the break.
Remember life keeps going, even when you think you can't. Do not be so hard on yourself or others, everyone tries the best they can. So stop to take in the beauty around you. There is beauty in everything if you know how to look for it.
Look at the beauty in the world. The world is filled with all kinds of possibilities. Every moment you clear your mind a dream is being born. Every dream is a window to opportunity. Do not let your anxieties and troubles tear the beauty of the world apart. You have the power to create. Try it, follow your heart.
Remember these things:
There is still love in the world.
There is still goodness and joy.
Know you are wanted and needed.
And most importantly of all, enjoy being alive.
-author unknown-
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
NO!!!!!!!!!!
"No" is such a simple word....
It comprises only two letters. Yet saying "No" out loud is harder for most people
than saying, "I'll be glad to..." (eleven letters)or "When do you need me
to..." (seventeen letters)
Most of us said, "No!" quite well when we were two. After all, it's the joy of a
two-year-old to say "No." The authority figures in our lives at
the time, our parents, expect us to say "No". And it is because of "No" that the year is known as the Terrible Two's.
Sadly, many of us grow up to be people pleasers. The word "No" drops out of
our vocabulary, and we substitute lots of ways to be agreeable and keep
the other person happy. Saying "No" to the authority figures is not
expected. And underneath it all we believe that saying "No" can cost us a
lot in our adult life.
In my work, I have had to say 'No' in a few ways.
The unassertive "No" is accompanied by weak excuses and rationalizations. If you lack confidence when you say "No" you may think that you need to support your "No" with lots of reasons to convince the other person that you mean it.
You might even make up an excuse to support your "No." This can
backfire if the lie is exposed and again, you will sound ineffective because
you need to have an excuse to support your stand.
Then there is the aggressive "No" which is done with contempt. "Are you kidding? Me, give you an extension to the assignment deadline?"
Sometimes the aggressive "No" includes an attack on the person making
the request. "You must be crazy. I couldn't take on a project that
unimportant."
Let us not forget the assertive "No" which is simple and direct. "No, I won't be able to help with that." If you would like to offer an explanation, make it short and simple. "No, I won't be able to help with that. I've already made a commitment for Friday
afternoon."
How can we make it easier to say an assertive "No"?
1. When someone makes a request, it is always OK to *ASK FOR TIME TO
THINK IT OVER*. In thinking it over, remind yourself that the decision is
entirely up to you.
2. Use your nonverbal assertiveness to underline the "No." Make sure
that your voice is firm and direct. Look into the person's eyes as you
say, "No." Shake your head "No," as you say, "No."
3. Remember that "No," is an honorable response. If you decide that
"No," is the answer that you prefer to give, then it is authentic and
honest for you to say, "No."
4. If you say, "Yes," when you want to say, "No," you will feel
resentful throughout whatever you agreed to do. This costs you energy and
discomfort and is not necessary if you just say, "No" when you need to.
5. If you are saying, "No," to someone whom you would help under
different circumstances, use an empathic response to ease the rejection. For
example, to your friend who needs you to keep her child while she goes
to the doctor, you might say, "No, Susie, I can't keep Billie for you.
I know it must be hard for you to find someone at that time of day, but
I have already made lunch plans and I won't be able to help you.
6. Start your sentence with the word, "No." It's easier to keep the
commitment to say, "No," if it's the first word out of your mouth.
We can say "No" in a few ways:
to the clerk who wants to write your phone number down
when you return something to the store;
to the telemarketer who disturbs your dinner;
to the perfume demonstrator at the department store;
to your friend's pets when they jump on you;
to the secretary who answers the phone and asks if you mind if she puts
you on hold.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make it a project to say, "No," to something every day.
When you do, notice it and give yourself credit for practicing saying
such an important two letter word.
Then you would have begun to be a real and honest person who speaks from your heart.
Yes? No?
What sayest thou?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear blog reader,
Thank you so much for visiting my blog regularly and for subscribing to my feed.
Actually, I had two feeds for this blog and I cannot recover my password to the original feed because I deleted my email address when my blogs were hacked in January this year.
The second feed is faulty and I have had to create a new feed for this blog.
If you have subscribed to my feed previously i.e. anytime before last Sunday, please subscribe again because the feed address is now different and the previous one is no longer valid. You can click on the Subscribe in a reader widget in the left side bar. Failure to do so may mean that you may not receive new feeds.
I am really sorry for the inconvenience caused. This move is necessary because my feeds here have not been updating in synch with my new posts for the past few weeks.
Thanks for your time and for reading this. I appreciate the fact that you set aside time to read my posts and for some of you, thank you for leaving your comments.
cheers,
Masterwordsmith
It comprises only two letters. Yet saying "No" out loud is harder for most people
than saying, "I'll be glad to..." (eleven letters)or "When do you need me
to..." (seventeen letters)
Most of us said, "No!" quite well when we were two. After all, it's the joy of a
two-year-old to say "No." The authority figures in our lives at
the time, our parents, expect us to say "No". And it is because of "No" that the year is known as the Terrible Two's.
Sadly, many of us grow up to be people pleasers. The word "No" drops out of
our vocabulary, and we substitute lots of ways to be agreeable and keep
the other person happy. Saying "No" to the authority figures is not
expected. And underneath it all we believe that saying "No" can cost us a
lot in our adult life.
In my work, I have had to say 'No' in a few ways.
The unassertive "No" is accompanied by weak excuses and rationalizations. If you lack confidence when you say "No" you may think that you need to support your "No" with lots of reasons to convince the other person that you mean it.
You might even make up an excuse to support your "No." This can
backfire if the lie is exposed and again, you will sound ineffective because
you need to have an excuse to support your stand.
Then there is the aggressive "No" which is done with contempt. "Are you kidding? Me, give you an extension to the assignment deadline?"
Sometimes the aggressive "No" includes an attack on the person making
the request. "You must be crazy. I couldn't take on a project that
unimportant."
Let us not forget the assertive "No" which is simple and direct. "No, I won't be able to help with that." If you would like to offer an explanation, make it short and simple. "No, I won't be able to help with that. I've already made a commitment for Friday
afternoon."
How can we make it easier to say an assertive "No"?
1. When someone makes a request, it is always OK to *ASK FOR TIME TO
THINK IT OVER*. In thinking it over, remind yourself that the decision is
entirely up to you.
2. Use your nonverbal assertiveness to underline the "No." Make sure
that your voice is firm and direct. Look into the person's eyes as you
say, "No." Shake your head "No," as you say, "No."
3. Remember that "No," is an honorable response. If you decide that
"No," is the answer that you prefer to give, then it is authentic and
honest for you to say, "No."
4. If you say, "Yes," when you want to say, "No," you will feel
resentful throughout whatever you agreed to do. This costs you energy and
discomfort and is not necessary if you just say, "No" when you need to.
5. If you are saying, "No," to someone whom you would help under
different circumstances, use an empathic response to ease the rejection. For
example, to your friend who needs you to keep her child while she goes
to the doctor, you might say, "No, Susie, I can't keep Billie for you.
I know it must be hard for you to find someone at that time of day, but
I have already made lunch plans and I won't be able to help you.
6. Start your sentence with the word, "No." It's easier to keep the
commitment to say, "No," if it's the first word out of your mouth.
We can say "No" in a few ways:
to the clerk who wants to write your phone number down
when you return something to the store;
to the telemarketer who disturbs your dinner;
to the perfume demonstrator at the department store;
to your friend's pets when they jump on you;
to the secretary who answers the phone and asks if you mind if she puts
you on hold.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Make it a project to say, "No," to something every day.
When you do, notice it and give yourself credit for practicing saying
such an important two letter word.
Then you would have begun to be a real and honest person who speaks from your heart.
Yes? No?
What sayest thou?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear blog reader,
Thank you so much for visiting my blog regularly and for subscribing to my feed.
Actually, I had two feeds for this blog and I cannot recover my password to the original feed because I deleted my email address when my blogs were hacked in January this year.
The second feed is faulty and I have had to create a new feed for this blog.
If you have subscribed to my feed previously i.e. anytime before last Sunday, please subscribe again because the feed address is now different and the previous one is no longer valid. You can click on the Subscribe in a reader widget in the left side bar. Failure to do so may mean that you may not receive new feeds.
I am really sorry for the inconvenience caused. This move is necessary because my feeds here have not been updating in synch with my new posts for the past few weeks.
Thanks for your time and for reading this. I appreciate the fact that you set aside time to read my posts and for some of you, thank you for leaving your comments.
cheers,
Masterwordsmith
My Blog List
-
-
The end of the line...3 years ago
-
-
-
Courtesy10 years ago
-
Hilarious One-Liner Replies11 years ago
-
-
Allergic To Technology?14 years ago
