THE BEST INTERVIEW

Yesterday is a day that I won't forget for a long time. My 9-year-old daughter had told me yesterday morning that one of her year-younger friends (third grade) wanted to interview me for a school assignment. Wow! A third-grader wants to interview me! I was thrilled. All during the day, I was anticipating questions and how I would respond. "How did you become CyberSis?" I could hear her ask. "How many hours do you work on the column?" was another obvious question. "How many readers do you have?" might pop in there as a candidate. I prepared to field most questions she could throw at me with responses that would be comprehended by 8-year-old children. Nothing too complicated. Nothing too condescending. A tough job, if you really think about it.

While shopping at a fresh produce stand, I imagined all the similes and metaphors I could use (for comedic effect) using fruit. "What do you think of your work?", answered with "It's a peach"! "How do you think people see you?", to be followed with "I'm a watermelon -- hard on the outside, but soft at the center." All day long, the muted excitement built.

I even changed clothes, just to appear "fresher" for the interview. When I went to the bus stop, I was primed! Upon returning home, I offered the girls after school refreshments. Anxious to begin, I asked Kayla where she would like to hold the interview.

She said, "Oh, it's okay. I don't need to interview you. I found somebody else."

Crestfallen (to say the very least) I replied, "Oh, really? Who did you get to interview?" trying to mentally size up the competition. She said, "Oh, just my mother's boss's mother." "Really?" was my catchy comeback. "And what type of work does SHE do?" "I don't think she works. She's in a rest home." Not seeing any relationship between the targeted interview subjects, I asked, "Why did you happen to chose her?" "I had to interview somebody REALLY old, around 50, who could tell me about life in the 1960's. She LOOKS a LOT older than you do!" she casually commented, munching on carrot sticks.

And that was the best interview I never had..

- P. L. Sweeney