COMMUNICATE WITH...

Do you have unresolved issues with one who is no longer in your life? Perhaps that person has passed on? I know from personal experience that this can be a haunting thing. One young woman I know had a fight with her mother just before her mother committed suicide. She feels that this one and only fight with her mother, in which she told her mother (as a young teen daughter) that she hated her mother was a large contributor to her mother's decision to give it all up.

Perhaps you've had a similar situation in your life. Maybe you even blame God bitterly for taking this person while things were unresolved with your loved one. It is not God's decision and He wants only to love you now. When you realize this you can let go. If you blame God, you are turning away your best source for comfort, love and peace. You will know very little joy.

Let me share with you what I told this young woman, and something I KNOW to be true. I told her that she needed to forgive herself for what she did and that I KNOW her mother understood her and forgave her. Most importantly, her mother loves her dearly and watches over her now. I didn't just say this as a cart blanche sort of statement, but rather knew it was true in this instance particularly, because I felt it. I knew it was true, confirmed by that chill from God saying "Yes."

Her mother had many personal problems and she made the ultimate decision, as do we all. I suggested that she face the fact that she was perhaps a contributor and put that to rest forgiving herself, making a personal vow to herself to always try to let others know of her love for them. To strive to know the truth of her feelings and speak of them through love and not from fear. Then I told her the thing I know is true for all lives.

There is no such thing as an "end" to anything. When we die, no matter how we've lived our lives individually, we all continue to exist and live as the individuals we are - and much more. I know this without a doubt. Furthermore, we can still communicate with whoever we wish after they die. In many instances in a more concise manner than if they were here with us today, though at first it may never feel like it's enough, not being able to hold that person and see them again in the ways we could before.

I say we can communicate sometimes more clearly after their death, because a deceased person has total clarity and no ego getting in the way. The path to understanding and communication through feeling and experiences is paved on their side. Is yours? That is up to you.

We must forgive that person because we harm ourselves and the potential connection of love that can bring peace to any situation. Hate and anger are felt only for those for whom we care deeply. They are fear based feelings. Let them go.

Think of the things that separate you and that person in your heart. Live it all again, and allow the pain and tears to heal you. Forgive and let go of it all. Then you will forget it very soon. Talk to that person as if they can hear you, and they will.

After I told this young woman of this, I could tell it struck her as I watched a bolt of energy chill her body letting her know the truth of it. She put faith in what I told her. She thought about it during that very painful time in her life. Resolution is often a painful process, because it requires open honesty.

A few days later, her mother came to her in a dream. Her mother was lovelier and more peaceful than ever, as the daughter had never known her mother. Still, the apparition in the dream was distinctly her mother. Her mother told her that she forgot about their argument long ago and that she knew her daughter loved her very deeply. That her realizing that she could still communicate with her allowed her to come to bring her peace at that time.

She further told her that her decision for suicide was because she just had to start over again. She couldn't bear to go on and needed the peace that her mind and body didn't afford her. She said that the life she was living was just too much for her. She said she regretted her decision because it hurt others, but that it was the best she could do at the time. She just knew of no other way.

She said, "My dear child, I'm so sorry I hurt you and that it was so hard on you to not be able to tell me of your love before I died, but I knew. I didn't mean to hurt you. Most of all, know that it had nothing to do with our argument. You, darling, are such a vital part of me. Please forgive yourself as I have myself. Please know it's good between us. I love you, my precious child. I always will."

She hugged her, held her, and stroked her hair. They had love and peace between them once again - more than ever. The dream ended.

written by Jeff Nickerson