Sunday, October 11, 2009


How it feels like turning 48.

It's my 48th birthday today. I'm proud to say that I've become stronger, happier and wiser with age. I no longer react foolishly to situations and people that used to cause me anxiety. Colleagues, close friends and family members used to identify me as a moody, hot tempered, erratic and an impatient person. I don't hear those labels anymore.

My personal growth and change did not happen overnight. It took many hours of reflections and years of making mistakes and facing disappointments. When I began to acknowledge that I have control over many things within my life, I move towards making progress. Even now, there are still areas that I can work on to improve and a few bad habits that I can discard.

A few friends asked if I ever wished that my past experiences were different or if I had ever imagined that I could relive and change them. Answer was and still is a "No."

I've made a decision sometime ago not to have regrets for those things that I did or didn't do or had or never had.

If not for those experiences and getting knocked down so many times, my growth would have taken a longer time. I see people around me at my age or older who struggle with drinking and relationship problems and are broke. My dad was one of them who died frustrated and unhappy.

Turning 48 makes me want to move faster to reach the many goals that I have set to accomplish. I tell myself that my years on this planet get shorter so I have to make the best use of each waking hours. At the same time, I stay open and optimistic about being able to live for another 20 - 30 years.

I used to do drugs and have quit. I almost became an alcoholic and stopped cold turkey. I had a self-inflicted habit of getting overdosed on drugs. I used sexual gratification as a means to feel worthy of love.

Many people have gone through worst than I had. But I looked at my accomplishments from what I was to what I have and can become.

So turning 48 makes me grateful and proud of myself. I have been there, done that, worn the T shirt and survived.

Here are some of the books that have inspired and helped me become a better human being.

Atlas Shrugged

Man's Search for Meaning

Unlimited Power.

7 Strategies for Wealth & Happiness.

Using Your Brain for a Change.

Awaken the Giant Within.

*Taken from this link


mamasita said...

Boohoooo hooo...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

I'm so happy you're happy cherishing your past experiences and moving forward with tons of positiveness and confidence!

masterwordsmith said...

My dear Datin Mamasita

Alamak! Hari ni bukan hari jadi saya ...I just put the post up and it was written by someone else...But you are right, my dear friend. I am cherishing past experiences and am marching forward with much confidence and positive vibes!

How well you know me from reading my blog. I am blessed!

Take care and have a great day...sorry for the late publication of your comment as I was attending a convention the whole day and just got back.